The Bumbling, Stumbling, Fumbling Opening Weekend of College Football

Bumbling…stumbling…fumbling, everybody wants the bouncing oblong ball, but it lingers in an unpredictable manner, so nobody knows how to get a handle on it. The colliding forces of college football dive indiscriminately without regard for the damage they might inflict, governing bodies colliding from every direction in a scramble to take possession of the money-ball in college football.

If only someone with vision, a little clout in college football, and a huge set of testicles would recognize the potential for reform and pounce upon the opportunity. Unfortunately, what passes for foresight from the BCS Nostradaumus wouldn’t provide enough visibility for a plane to land.

If only we had someone who could clearly see the tree’s through the forest, the irony among the college football story, or the riddle wrapped inside the hidden agenda of the BCS enigma. Instead, every year in August, we get the phony pre-season rankings setting up the elite in college football for a destined title run before a single game even begins.

Every year we get the smear campaigns against those we fear the most, self-fulfilling prophecies boasting of the strength of our own, and the aristocratic Godfathers of College Football threatening to throw gasoline on an already inhospitable fire.

The Rose Bowl Alliances (better known as the Big-10 & PAC-10 Conferences), who have whole-heartedly supported the NCAA on matters related to the idealistic destiny of the student-athletes who participate in college football, have fought for years with the historical backbone of the sport - better known as the unionized College Football Association members - who have now developed the much maligned Bowl Championship Series and the controversy that spews forth from its jaws with each passing season.

It’s the Rose Bowl Alliance, representing the intellectual destiny of the collegiate institution versus Southern sensibilities, representing the electrified tradition of zooming football’s, human bodies, helmets and beer hurling through the air on autumn Saturday afternoons… a classic battle between idealism versus realism.

It can be compared to British Royalty versus the Freedom Fighters of the American Revolution. The Hatfields and The McCoy’s of today’s football world hold all the keys to success in developing perhaps one of the greatest and equally unifying sporting venues of the new century.

While the south hurls its venom towards the west, clamorously shouting of superior strength in terms of numbers, weapons and armour, the west simply replies, “careful or we’ll take our marbles and play-on at our grand-daddy-of-them-all Rose Bowl venue without you.”

Boy…teamwork…cooperation…sportsmanship! The tributes and characteristics that make athletic competition the special venue that seemlessly transcends race, religion, gender and political barriers, which supposedly spews from the administrative halls of these very institutions - these higher intelects priding themselves on qualities of fairness, opportunity, freedom and integrity.

Both have honorable intentions, neither has compromising values. The fans and players are stuck in the middle and receive nothing but gamesmanship, political beauracracy and unionized alliances that have transcended generations.

As more participants dive into the political baitball, eager for a voice and branding identity; able and willing to grab equal shares, the oblong pigskin continues to bounce away, along with the hopes of many die-hard football fans.

The radical plane overhead, waiting for the idea to grow into a movement - full of potential reform for college football -continues to circle in turbulent skies, hoping for the day when the dark, foggy, inhospitable attitudes among those who administrate the sport slowly burn or die away.

Two years ago, the governing bodies of the fall spectacle set themselves up nicely for a potential playoff in college football with the inclusion of the 12th game in the regular season. The fan base - as the primary stakeholders in the game - salivated with anticipation of more heavyweight match-ups of the Texas - Ohio State variety.

Unfortunatley, we are getting the Michigan - Appalachian State variety. Of the 69 games marking the opening weekend of the Division I season, beginning Thursday, August 30th - 2007 at 7PM when Buffalo takes on Rutgers, only 14 are truly worth watching.

Hidden among our excitement after nearly 9 months of apathetic football hibernation, is the realization that the first month of the season involves some really horrific match-ups.

It’s like waking up ravenous…starving for football nutrition…only to find an oasis of fruit with zero caloric benefit.

It’s like eating Tofu and stale Tostitos with warm-flat beer while watching the never ending re-runs of the 1984 Miami-Nebraska Orange Bowl on the FOX Network…We know the outcome but we watch anyway…It’s great for the heart but leaves the soul empty and searching. None-the-less, here are your empty calorie and Tofu tasting week one match-ups.

The Good…”food, friends, wine, spirits are plentiful” - games.

Tennessee vs CAL
Oklahoma St vs Georgia
Wisconsin vs Washington St.
Georgia Tech vs Notre Dame
Kansas St. vs Auburn
Houston vs Oregon
BYU vs Arizona
Missouri vs Illini
TCU vs Baylor
Oregon St vs Utah

The Good Conference…”time for desert” - games.

Florida St vs Clemson
LSU vs Mississippi State
UCLA vs Stanford
Wake Forest vs Boston College

The Marginal…”it must be periodic nap time” - games.

West Virginia vs W. Michigan
Nebraska vs Nevada
Washington vs Syracuse
Colorado vs Colorado St.
East Carolina vs Virginia Tech
UTEP vs New Mexico
Ole Miss vs Memphis
Minnesota vs Bowling Green
Eastern Michigan vs Pittsburgh
Central Michigan vs Kansas
Arizona St vs SJSU
Texas Tech vs SMU
Army vs Akron

The UGLY…”it must be time for that last minute yard work before fall sets in” - games.

Rutgers vs Buffalo
Louisville vs Murray St
Boise St vs Weber St
Michigan vs Appalachian St
Texas vs Arkansas St
Kentucky vs E. Kentucky
S.Florida vs Elon
Penn St vs Florida Int
USC vs Idaho
North Carolina vs James Madison
Miami (FL) vs Marshall
Northwestern vs Northeastern
Oklahoma vs N. Texas
Vandy vs Richmond
S. Miss vs Tenn-Martin
Arkansas vs Troy
Alabama vs W. Carolina
Maryland vs Villanova
Florida vs W. Kentucky
Texas A&M vs Montana St
Indiana vs Indiana St
Rice vs Nicholls St

Just remember, as we watch these horrendous and equally stupendous match-ups dotting the landscape in the month of September, this is the critical hour of competitions that prevent a regular season bracketed playoff from occurring in NCAA College Football!

A regular season bracketed playoff that could be orchestrated with a bit of an open mind, some intestinal fortitude, an entrepreneurial spirit, and good old fashioned brotherly love sprinkled with southern hospitality among our administrative Godfathers.

QUESTION FOR ALL CONCERNED COLLEGE FOOTBALL FANS!…wouldn’t you rather see the conference games first, saving the all important month of November for four weeks of head-to-head action between the heavyweights of college football to determine the bowl games - in a sense allowing all teams with an equal opportunity to EARN their schedule and EARN their way to a BCS or Upper Tier Bowl game - and even EARN the right to be called a heavyweight in the first place?

Or, would you rather watch the boring month of September with a landslide of games that border on the ridiculous…where the big boys are afraid to schedule each other - due to the BCS implications?

For even if they do schedule each other they have to hold their breath for seven years, hoping that they can keep their coaches from bolting to the NFL which might hinder the chances of maintaining their elite status in the game - all of which ends up biting them in the ass in the end - as most end up politically smearing their opponents, or other conferences, because they believe their own conference, or their own schedule, is better than the next.

With only one BCS football to grab, and many hands lurching…stumbling…bumbling and fumbling into the BCS bait-ball, is it any wonder we are at this point today?

It is time for the fans to demand that the game move forward. The BCSBusters Regular Season Bracketed playoff would have all teams begin the 2007 season with the conference games first in weeks 1-8. All teams would qualify for one of four brackets in weeks 9-12 of the regular season based on the results of their conference play.

The BCS Bracket determines all the conference champions for all conferences (in weeks 9 & 10), as well as, the BCS and Upper Tier Bowl games by aligning the best 32 teams in the country in a POD like bracketed regular season format allowing most of the games to be regionalised so the fans can attend.

Thus, in weeks 11 & 12, we would get the thunderous match-ups involving the SEC Champion vs the ACC Champion; PAC-10 Champion vs the Big-12 Champion, BIG-10 Champion vs the Big-East Champion and the two best teams filtering through the bottom end of the bracket involving the MWest Conference, WAC Conference, MAC Conference and C-USA. The month of November would be unbelievable!

I’m not intellectually challenged enough to involve the Sun-Belt Conference in the race for the BCS Moneypit… just look at their all-time record against the conferences who have competed in BCS events (14-240). They get their opportunity for bowl events in the NIT Bracket.

The Holiday Bracket would involve the next best 32 teams, as determined by their conference finish, and would determine the remaining lower tier bowl games.

The NIT Bracket involves the next 32 teams, and only the teams finishing this four week bracket with an undefeated or 3-1 record would qualify for a newly created bowl extravaganza, to be played on Christmas-eve day and Christmas day in Hawaii.

This would essentially kick-off bowl week, but would bring 10 teams and hoards of fans into one site, where 5 games would be played in two days at Aloha Stadium.

The final bracket, called the Eddie Robinson Sportsman’s Bracket, would involve the the final 24 teams and provide these teams with the opportunity to finish their 12 game season. No bowl opportunities for these teams.

Am I missing something here or does this just make too much sense? Oh well, back to reality…enjoy Buffalo and Rutgers!